“It’s just so permanent.”
These were the words of a man at the church I go to, to our pastor, when questioned about why he had yet to ask the women he was dating to marry him. You know what? When that story was told from the pulpit, his answer made me, and everyone else in that church, laugh out loud. Of course it is. The permanence of marriage is a given, right? However, it’s possible that man grasped something that so few people in our society truly get.
Marriage is a covenant.
- 1. A binding agreement; a compact.
- 2. In the Bible, God’s promise to the human race.
So, if you believe as I do, then you know that God made a covenant with humanity thousands of years ago. A BINDING promise to each and everyone of us. The marriage relationship is labeled in the exact same way as the relationship between God and all of humanity. Whoa.
“It’s just so permanent.” That man in my church is exactly right. The covenant I have with my Jesus is no different than the promise between Kelvin and myself. Permanent. Lifelong. Unconditional. That IS a very big deal.
On February 1st, Kelvin and I celebrated a five year “anniversary.” It was five years ago, to the day, that we had our DTR, defining what our relationship was. Really though, that sounds way more dramatic than it was. The conversation that night actually went like this.
Laura: “Kelvin, if someone at work asks me if I have a boyfriend, what am I supposed to say?”
Translation: “I’m getting hit on at work…do you care?
Kelvin: “What do you want to say?”
Translation: “You want ME to go first? Talk about how I feel? No way.”
Laura: “No, I asked you what I should say.”
Translation: “Nice try Kelvin. You first.”
Oh, how I laugh about it now. That back and forth was classic Kelvin. Non-committal for as long as possible. And certainly not the last time I had to make him talk about what was on his heart. However, though we didn’t know it at the time, that day really was the beginning of our forever. So why not celebrate it?
With a tattoo.
So that’s what we did.
Kelvin and I had broached the subject to each other months ago, considered it on our honeymoon, and then pushed the idea aside when life got in the way. And before you write us off as that dumb couple who tattooed each other’s initials on our hearts, hear me out.
The permanence of our covenants with both our Jesus and each other do NOT have to be inked on our body, signed off by a pastor, or notarized by the proper authorities to make them real. The truth in both of these contracts lie within our hearts, and the commitment and acknowledgements we have made, personally, to stay true to these promises.
“I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”
Our name is written on His hands. And Kelvin and I couldn’t shake the desire to write His name, our promise, on ourselves too. Permanently, yes. But also as a daily reminder of the love and commitment that we share, to each other, our family, and to our Jesus.
I got this text from Kelvin two nights before our appointment, while we were still unsure about what it was that we felt the need to say.
“I kind of like this one. To me it means don’t be afraid to love each other, but also don’t be afraid to love the Lord. Additionally it tells us not to be afraid for God loves us, and his love is perfect. A constant reminder that even when we mess up God still loves us and always will.”
I was convinced, instantly. We had already written this verse all over the pages of our lives together, our marriage together. Why not make it an enduring reminder, for all the loveless, frustrating, exhausting days that are certainly ahead of us?
“It’s just so permanent.”
It is permanent. Marriage is permanent. Our Jesus is permanent.
Our fearless promise is permanent.
Tattoo work done by Tony @ Faith Tattoo in Golden, CO. He was FABULOUS, especially to a first timer like me!